Heres how to stop worrying so much

Heres how to stop worrying so muchHeres how to stop worrying so muchEver feel like youcant turn yurbrain off?Worried about how to stop worrying? We all deal with this when life gets challenging.There is a way to overcome worrythat doesnt involve alcohol or a straitjacket.The answer is thousands of years old - but now science is validating those ancientideas. Youve probably even heard of it Mindfulness.Yeah, its all the rage now. But nobody ever seems to really explain what it is or how to do it.Lets fix that.You are bedrngnislage yur thoughtsWhat is mindfulness? In his book,The Mindfulness Solution,Ronald Siegel, an Assistant Clinical hochschulprofessor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, givesa pretty good answer.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsThe working definition of mindfulness that my colleagues and I find most helpful isawareness of present experience with acceptance.You might sayBut Im aware. Im present. Im accepting.And Id sayNo, you re not.Youre not aware youre staring at yur iPhone.Youre not present youre worrying aboutthe future.Youre not accepting youre shaking your fist at traffic because the world doesnt match the imagination in your brainof how it should be.Very often, were all stuck in our heads.Were not taking the world in were just listening to the stories we tell ourselvesaboutthe world, trusting theendless parade of thoughts flitting through our heads instead of actually paying attention to lifearound us.One of the fundamental tenetsof mindfulness is that we all take our thoughts wayyyyyy too seriously. We thinkour thoughts alwaysmeansomething. In fact, we think weareour thoughts and our thoughtsareus.And thats one of the reasons we worry so much and experience so many negative emotions - because we take our thoughts about the world mora seriously than the world itself.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsMindfulness practice brings all sorts of insights into the worki ngs of the mind. Perhaps the hardest to grasp is the idea that thoughts are not reality. Were so accustomed to providing a narrative track to our lives and believing in our story that to see things otherwise is a real challenge.You know as well as I do that all kinds of ridiculous thoughts go through our heads. Andsometimesyou know not to trustthem. When youre tired, drunk, angry or sick you dont take your thoughts as seriously.Mindfulness says you should go a step further. Because youhave lots of crazy or silly thoughtsall the time. And they can make you anxious or bring you down.(For mora on how to never be frustrated again, clickhere.)The great psychologist Albert Ellis saidwe should dispute our irrational thoughts. Great advice - but it can be difficult. You have to be exceedinglyrational for it to work.And sometimes disputing those thoughts can be like a Chinese finger trap - the more you resist, the more they ensnare you.So what can you do?Observe. Dont judgeSometimes you ca nt easily dispute those worrying thoughts.So mindfulness simply sayslet them go.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsMindfulness practice helps us avoid the trap of counterproductive thoughts by learning to let them go.You cant turn your brain off. And even if you meditate for years you can never fully clear your mind.But you can see those troublesome thoughts, recognize them, but not get tangled in believing them.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsRemember, this practice is not about emptying the mind, getting rid of difficult emotions, escaping lifes problems, being free of pain, or experiencing never-ending bliss. Mindfulness practice is about embracing our experience as it is- and sometimes what is can be unpleasant at the momentWe usually try to feel better by decreasing the intensity of painful experiences in mindfulness practice, we work instead to increase our capacity to bear them.And scientific research shows this really works. People feel better and are more engaged with their work after 8 weeks of mindfulness practice.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsDr. Davidson and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn recruited a group of pressured workers in a biotechnology firm and taught half of them mindfulness meditation for three hours per week over an eight-week period. They compared this group to a similar group of coworkers who were not taught meditation. On average, all of the workers tipped to the right in their prefrontal cortical activity before taking up meditation. However, after taking the eight-week course, the meditating group now had more left-sided activation than the nonmeditators. The meditators also reported that their moods improved and they felt more engaged in their activities.I know, I knowEasier said than done, Eric.Ignore your thoughts? Let them just float by? Sounds great but how the heck do you do that? Especially when theyre emotionally powerful feelin gs like worry.(For more on how to deal with anxiety, tragedy or heartache, clickhere.)The key is attention. Yeah, that thing none of us seems to have anymore.But theres a way to get it back.Dont distract. Immerse.Ive posted before abouthow important attention is to happiness.And one of the key practices of mindfulness ismeditation, which has been shown inscientific studiesto improve attention.While Im a huge believer inmeditation, yes, it can be hard and takes time. Is there another way? Yup.Next time youre worrying, remember that your thoughts arent real.Lifeis real.Soturn your attention to your senses. To the world around you. (No, not to your smartphone.)How does that cup of coffee smell? Did you even notice the people nearby?Dont distract yourself. Immerse yourself in the world around you.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsThe approach teaches people mindfulness practices with a particular emphasis on not taking any thoughts too seriously but rat her staying grounded in sensual reality here and nowInstead of fantasizing about the next moment of entertainment, you can turn your attention to the sights and sounds of standing in line, buying a cup of coffee, and walking down the street. Instead of getting frustrated because the train is late, you can study the other passengers (discreetly), notice the architecture of the station, and attend to the sensations in your body as you sit and wait. There is always something interesting to do- just pay attention to what is occurring right now.(For more on how to meditate and be happier, clickhere.)I know what some of you are thinkingThe worries keep coming back, Eric. Smelling the coffee didnt make them go away.No sweat.We havetools for this.Noting and labelingRather than dodging, disputing, or distracting (which can all lead to you just wrestling with those ideasfurther) acknowledge the thoughts. notenzeichen them.Youre not avoiding yourthoughts. You acknowledge them and thenturn your attention back to your senses. To your breath. To the feel of the chair beneath your butt. To theperson next to you.For thoughts that keep playing like a broken record, trylabeling them. Siegel suggests giving the thought a funny name that trivializes itOh, that its not going to work out tape is playing in my head again.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsWhen the thoughts arise, label them silently before letting them go. You dont need very many categories. You might choose labels such as planning, doubting, judging, fantasizing, obsessing, or criticizing. The particular labels arent crucial what matters is using them to avoid being captured by stories or repetitive tapes. Once you label a thought, gently bring your attention back to the breath. If you find that your attention is repeatedly carried away by particular stories, try making up a humorous label for them. Give these greatest hits their own names, such as your I blew it again tape, I cant get no respect tape, I never get what I want tape, and so on.Sound like silly, hippie nonsense? Well, you know those worries that bring you down and make you sad?A study found mindfulness therapies were just as effective as antidepressants. In fact, many who practiced them regularly were subsequently able to ditch their medication.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsIn another, more recent study, MBCT welches shown to be as effective as antidepressants in preventing relapses of depression and allowed many subjects to discontinue their medication.(For more on how to be happy and successful, clickhere.)Okay, lets round this up into a simple system youcan use.Sum upHeres how to stop worrying and start being mindfulYou are not your thoughts.Sometimes theyre downright ridiculous. Just because you think it, doesnt make it true.Observe, dont judge.Acknowledge the thoughts, but let them float by. Dont wrestle with them.Dont distract, immerse.Do not check your email for the 400th time. Take in the world around you. Turn to your senses. Thats real. Your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself about the worldarent.Note orlabel intrusive thoughts.Yeah, the thoughts fight back. Acknowledge them. Give the intrusive ones a funny name.Return to the senses.Really pay attention to the world around you.And when I say to pay more attention to the world around you, that doesnt just mean things. Its also people.What ends a lot of relationships?You dont pay enough attention to me.When we endeavor to let the thoughts in our head go and embrace the world around us, we canfocus moreattention on the ones we love.As mindfulness expertJon Kabat-Zinnpoints out, in a number of Asian languages mind and heartare the same word.So mindfulness isnt a cold or clinical process. Itmight as well be translated asheartfulness.Let the thoughts float by and turn your attention to the people you love.Join over 185,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Relat ed postsHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done 5 Expert Tips6 Things The fruchtwein Productive People Do Every DayNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.Heres how to stop worrying so muchEver feel like youcant turn yourbrain off?Worried about how to stop worrying? We all deal with this when life gets challenging.There is a way to overcome worrythat doesnt involve alcohol or a straitjacket.The answer is thousands of years old - but now science is validating those ancientideas. Youve probably even heard of it Mindfulness.Yeah, its all the rage now. But nobody ever seems to really explain what it is or how to do it.Lets fix that.You are not your thoughtsWhat is mindfulness? In his book,The Mindfulness Solution,Ronald Siegel, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, givesa pretty good answer.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsThe working definition of mindfulness that my colleagues and I find most helpful isawareness of present experience with acceptance.You might sayBut Im aware. Im present. Im accepting.And Id sayNo, youre not.Youre not aware youre staring at your iPhone.Youre not present youre worrying aboutthe future.Youre not accepting youre shaking your fist at traffic because the world doesnt match the vision in your brainof how it should be.Very often, were all stuck in our heads.Were not taking the world in were just listening to the stories we tell ourselvesaboutthe world, trusting theendless parade of thoughts flitting through our heads instead of actually paying attention to lifearound us.One of the fundamental tenetsof mindfulness is that we all take our thoughts wayyyyyy too seriously. We thinkour thoughts alwaysmeansomething. In fact, we think weareour thoughts and our thoughtsareus.And thats one of the reasons we worry so much and experience so many negative emotions - because we take our thoughts about the world more seriously than the world itself.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsMindfulness practice brings all sorts of insights into the workings of the mind. Perhaps the hardest to grasp is the idea that thoughts are not reality. Were so accustomed to providing a narrative track to our lives and believing in our story that to see things otherwise is a real challenge.You know as well as I do that all kinds of ridiculous thoughts go through our heads. Andsometimesyou know not to trustthem. When youre tired, drunk, angry or sick you dont take your thoughts as seriously.Mindfulness says you should go a step further. Because youhave lots of crazy or silly thoughtsall the time. And they can make you anxious or bring you down.(For more on how to never be frustrated again, clickhere.)The great psychologist Albert Ellis saidwe should dispute our irrational thoughts. Great advice - but it can be difficult. You have to be exceedinglyrational for it to work.And sometimes disputing those thoughts can be like a Chinese finger trap - the more you resist, the more they ensnare you.So what can you do?Observe. Dont judgeSometimes you cant easily dispute those worrying thoughts.So mindfulness simply sayslet them go.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsMindfulness practice helps us avoid the trap of counterproductive thoughts by learning to let them go.You cant turn your brain off. And even if you meditate for years you can never fully clear your mind.But you can see those troublesome thoughts, recognize them, but not get tangled in believing them.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsRemember, this practice is not about emptying the mind, getting rid of difficult emotions, escaping lifes problems, being free of pain, or experiencing never-ending bliss. Mindfulness practice is about embracing our experience as it is- and sometimes what is can be unpleasant at the momentWe us ually try to feel better by decreasing the intensity of painful experiences in mindfulness practice, we work instead to increase our capacity to bear them.And scientific research shows this really works. People feel better and are more engaged with their work after 8 weeks of mindfulness practice.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsDr. Davidson and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn recruited a group of pressured workers in a biotechnology firm and taught half of them mindfulness meditation for three hours per week over an eight-week period. They compared this group to a similar group of coworkers who were not taught meditation. On average, all of the workers tipped to the right in their prefrontal cortical activity before taking up meditation. However, after taking the eight-week course, the meditating group now had more left-sided activation than the nonmeditators. The meditators also reported that their moods improved and they felt more engaged in their activities .I know, I knowEasier said than done, Eric.Ignore your thoughts? Let them just float by? Sounds great but how the heck do you do that? Especially when theyre emotionally powerful feelings like worry.(For more on how to deal with anxiety, tragedy or heartache, clickhere.)The key is attention. Yeah, that thing none of us seems to have anymore.But theres a way to get it back.Dont distract. Immerse.Ive posted before abouthow important attention is to happiness.And one of the key practices of mindfulness ismeditation, which has been shown inscientific studiesto improve attention.While Im a huge believer inmeditation, yes, it can be hard and takes time. Is there another way? Yup.Next time youre worrying, remember that your thoughts arent real.Lifeis real.Soturn your attention to your senses. To the world around you. (No, not to your smartphone.)How does that cup of coffee smell? Did you even notice the people nearby?Dont distract yourself. Immerse yourself in the world around you.ViaThe M indfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsThe approach teaches people mindfulness practices with a particular emphasis on not taking any thoughts too seriously but rather staying grounded in sensual reality here and nowInstead of fantasizing about the next moment of entertainment, you can turn your attention to the sights and sounds of standing in line, buying a cup of coffee, and walking down the street. Instead of getting frustrated because the train is late, you can study the other passengers (discreetly), notice the architecture of the station, and attend to the sensations in your body as you sit and wait. There is always something interesting to do- just pay attention to what is occurring right now.(For more on how to meditate and be happier, clickhere.)I know what some of you are thinkingThe worries keep coming back, Eric. Smelling the coffee didnt make them go away.No sweat.We havetools for this.Noting and labelingRather than dodging, disputing, or distracti ng (which can all lead to you just wrestling with those ideasfurther) acknowledge the thoughts. Note them.Youre not avoiding yourthoughts. You acknowledge them and thenturn your attention back to your senses. To your breath. To the feel of the chair beneath your butt. To theperson next to you.For thoughts that keep playing like a broken record, trylabeling them. Siegel suggests giving the thought a funny name that trivializes itOh, that its not going to work out tape is playing in my head again.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsWhen the thoughts arise, label them silently before letting them go. You dont need very many categories. You might choose labels such as planning, doubting, judging, fantasizing, obsessing, or criticizing. The particular labels arent crucial what matters is using them to avoid being captured by stories or repetitive tapes. Once you label a thought, gently bring your attention back to the breath. If you find that your attentio n is repeatedly carried away by particular stories, try making up a humorous label for them. Give these greatest hits their own names, such as your I blew it again tape, I cant get no respect tape, I never get what I want tape, and so on.Sound like silly, hippie nonsense? Well, you know those worries that bring you down and make you sad?A study found mindfulness therapies were just as effective as antidepressants. In fact, many who practiced them regularly were subsequently able to ditch their medication.ViaThe Mindfulness Solution Everyday Practices for Everyday ProblemsIn another, more recent study, MBCT was shown to be as effective as antidepressants in preventing relapses of depression and allowed many subjects to discontinue their medication.(For more on how to be happy and successful, clickhere.)Okay, lets round this up into a simple system youcan use.Sum upHeres how to stop worrying and start being mindfulYou are not your thoughts.Sometimes theyre downright ridiculous. Just b ecause you think it, doesnt make it true.Observe, dont judge.Acknowledge the thoughts, but let them float by. Dont wrestle with them.Dont distract, immerse.Do not check your email for the 400th time. Take in the world around you. Turn to your senses. Thats real. Your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself about the worldarent.Note orlabel intrusive thoughts.Yeah, the thoughts fight back. Acknowledge them. Give the intrusive ones a funny name.Return to the senses.Really pay attention to the world around you.And when I say to pay more attention to the world around you, that doesnt just mean things. Its also people.What ends a lot of relationships?You dont pay enough attention to me.When we endeavor to let the thoughts in our head go and embrace the world around us, we canfocus moreattention on the ones we love.As mindfulness expertJon Kabat-Zinnpoints out, in a number of Asian languages mind and heartare the same word.So mindfulness isnt a cold or clinical process. Itmight as well be translated asheartfulness.Let the thoughts float by and turn your attention to the people you love.Join over 185,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsHow To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done 5 Expert Tips6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every DayNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThis article originally appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.